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****WANTED****
Women for the position of : MOTHER
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Must be willing to work long hours for little or no pay. On call 24/7. Will tend to children and see that they become responsible, hardworking, adults and upstanding citizens with strong character, conscience and sound decision making ability.
JOB REQUIREMENTS:
Background as Psychologist, Educator , Nurse and Diagnostician, Nutritionist, Pharmacist, Mediator, Mentor, Clergy, Short Order Cook preferred. Experience in etiquette and common sense highly desired. Must be model citizen, pillar of virtue, with high moral standards and emotional armor strong enough to withstand the slurs and insults of whiny toddlers and raging adolescents.* Should also demonstrate ability to make decisions at a moment’s notice with no chance of error. In addition, must exhibit ability to sleep with one eye open at all times. Eyes in the back of the head preferred.
*Note: Those eligible for sainthood will have first consideration.
BENEFITS: Directly proportional to time and effort invested. Gratitude and respect can be earned but are not guaranteed. Sick time as needed (but good luck with that).
PENSION PLAN: There is no retirement from this position.
THANK YOU FOR APPLYING TO THE MOTHERHOOD SOCIETY…WHERE CHILDREN COME FIRST…HAVE A NICE DAY!
Women for the position of : MOTHER
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Must be willing to work long hours for little or no pay. On call 24/7. Will tend to children and see that they become responsible, hardworking, adults and upstanding citizens with strong character, conscience and sound decision making ability.
JOB REQUIREMENTS:
Background as Psychologist, Educator , Nurse and Diagnostician, Nutritionist, Pharmacist, Mediator, Mentor, Clergy, Short Order Cook preferred. Experience in etiquette and common sense highly desired. Must be model citizen, pillar of virtue, with high moral standards and emotional armor strong enough to withstand the slurs and insults of whiny toddlers and raging adolescents.* Should also demonstrate ability to make decisions at a moment’s notice with no chance of error. In addition, must exhibit ability to sleep with one eye open at all times. Eyes in the back of the head preferred.
*Note: Those eligible for sainthood will have first consideration.
BENEFITS: Directly proportional to time and effort invested. Gratitude and respect can be earned but are not guaranteed. Sick time as needed (but good luck with that).
PENSION PLAN: There is no retirement from this position.
THANK YOU FOR APPLYING TO THE MOTHERHOOD SOCIETY…WHERE CHILDREN COME FIRST…HAVE A NICE DAY!
